The Women's Retreat

I’m back!!  Well, maybe you didn’t know I was away.  last week was so crazy busy that I hardly had time to catch up to myself before heading out to the lake on Friday for our annual women’s retreat.  Fortunately my Friday was fairly light so that I had time to go by the church and pick up some stuff from the prayer room for our prayer room at the camp lodge and I had time to run quickly to the big box W store and grab a cheap pair of ski pants.

Both of these errands were important to do as it turned out.

The prayer room is an important part of our retreat.  We have set up a prayer space every year for the past three years.  Each year I think a few more people use it.  This year I brought along The Divine Hours for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle and left it in the room for others to use.  And I invited anyone who wanted to to join me for Compline.  So we had a good time together in that space.

The ski pants were also important to have along.  Saturday during our free time in the afternoon, Dixie took some of us on a “short” walk down the trail by the beaver pond.  I think the walk is shorter in the summer.  Walking about 5 K’s in the snow is real exercise.  It was fun though and the day was beautiful.  My legs are still tired but I loved the walk.

This women’s retreat is always a significant spiritual event for me.  In fact I always have such high expectations for what I will get out of it that I tend to get frustrated with myself.  I guess even the recognition of that unrealistic expectation on my part is some progress.  And God was very gracious to me today.

Psalm 23

“The Lord is my shepherd
I have everything that I need.”  vs1(NLT)

 

These were the words of my morning reading.  I didn’t get much farther than this for awhile – the first few reads.  Something in these few words spoke to me strongly so that I couldn’t continue; spoke simply but loudly about trust.

 

“I have everything that I need.” 

 

Being a sheep, I don’t have to create my own pastures.  I don’t even have to find the pasture by myself.  The shepherd, The Good Shepherd, will lead me to places where I will find everything I need to sustain me and help me grow strong.  I simply need to follow.  Neither my work nor my efforts to find my own way will get me there. 

 

Jesus said something very similar when he used the metaphor of the field flowers.  The wild flowers are nourished and clothed in splendour by God their creator.  We can be sure that God will care for his human creations as well.

 

The 23^rd Psalm for me stirs memories in me of death or the waiting time with someone who is close to death.  I guess this particular Psalm is used then because it is so comforting.  But I think it is really a Psalm for living. 

 

“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

All the days of my life

And I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”  vs 6

 

 

Weekend Grandma

That was fun!

Kieran stayed with us from Friday to yesterday.  He is such a good little guy.  maybe his parents should give lessons on how to parent – or maybe they just lucked out.  I can’t remember his dad being so good as a two year old.

Saturday I took him grocery shopping with me.  I figured he is still too little to insist on me getting a lot of junk food.  We didn’t do too badly.  he has definate ideas on what kind of yogurt he wants.  The roar kind.  That took me a few minutes!  But then I saw the lion picture on the little mini yogurts and did the right thing.

His last night with us was the toughest.  He was coming down with a cold and kept waking up crying – every 30 minutes or less fro about 10:30 till 2 am.  Best way to keep the noise levels down was to lie down beside him and give him lots to drink.  The floor is hard!  In the morning work.  Sedation morning.  I do not desire to have any more children – ever. 

Grandchildren however will always be welcome to sleep over.  I can always make it through a night or two.  You, who are parents of young children having to be up at night, have my greatest respect.  I guess I did it too when my kids were young – and I was too.

A Visitor

We have a young guy, Eric, staying with us for a couple of days.  He is travelling with the Wycliff drama team.  Last night we were getting to know him a bit.  Tonight at 7 they put on their presentation at Gateway Covenant, our church.  I’ve been to their dramas before and they are good.

Our girls were a bit sceptical about having a house guest that we did not know.  But Eric is young and “cool” enough, and only a year out of high school, that once they met him they were really OK with having him here.  I am not sure if they get all his language.  Oh they understand it in some ways when he uses phrases like “spreading the Gospel” when he describes what he has been doing.  But we do not normally talk like that in our ordinary conversation. A fair number of “christianese” expressions were used in his speaking about his aims in life.  I imagine in time that he will learn to express what his aims in life are without resorting to Christian phrases.

We were sharing with him some of our experiences as missionaries in the Congo.  He asked if our work was mainly concerned with physical healing or if we also did spiritual work.  Our reply, “How can you separate the two?  You cannot disembody the souls of people.”  This is a question asked fairly often of people involved in medical or other technical work in missions.  I think it shows a lack of understanding of God’s creation.  He created us as humans and breathed into us his spirit, and he said his creation was good.  So I don’t think we should try and dissect out the spiritual from the lives we live or the work we do and try to grow just that part of our lives – like growing something in a lab petrie dish outside of the body. 

I think he will learn; I hope so.  He will need to use everything about himself for God if he really wants to serve him.  And God has given him a heart for missions so I guess God will take care of his education.  Maybe we are part of it.

Nothing major

So, here I am complaining about the blah, blah – the little petty unimportant routines that make up my life. 

And then I see God.  Not so much that anything major happened to open my eyes.  It was just little things that added up.

Today talking after church – It seems that I am not alone in feeling like this.  And we begin talking and in the act of talking something clicks.  This is just life.  God wants me to be faithful to him in all that I do.  In fact that is much more difficult than in performing some heroic act from time to time. 

So help me to do that with joy, for you God.

Dinner is being cooked and my call phone rings.  I am needed by a woman who broke off a new crown on her front tooth.  So I set up a time to see her.  2:30 this afternoon.  I just returned so it was a bit more than a quick fix.  The tooth had been treated with a root canal in the past.  Now it had broken off.  Fixing it meant a post and fitting the crown to a post as best I could and giving her advice about what her options were. 

While we were waiting for the cement to harden, my patient began to talk.  Life has been tough for her over the past few months.  She too has recently lost her father.  She has had unusual workplace stress that has thrown her life into chaos.  And now her teeth falling apart.  Most of my time with her was spent listening. 

This patient was a reminder to me that God has blessed me with things to do for him.  Well, maybe more than a subtle reminder. 

God, you are so gentle. 
When I doubt and complain 
You hear me.
You understand me,
You know my need to feel needed,
To be worthwhile,
To be significant.
Maybe someday I will be strong
But I did need that gentle reminder today
That I am your much loved child,
That you have work for me to do.
Thank you, My Beloved Father.

Blah, blah, blah

There are times when it so hard to plod through life, wanting more.  I am impatient.  I am tired.  Life has just thrown a lot of things my way over the past year and I think I am getting tired of the incessant burden of everything.  

 

I believe that God created me to live, to enjoy the life he has given me.  And I have every reason to enjoy it.  I don’t lack for much that I need materially.  I have great friends.  I have a family that loves me – even if they are also the cause of much worry as well.  I just also have this sort of driven nature that wants to see results.  So, I look for signs of growth in myself, I expect my kids to show signs of maturity, I search for positive signs that things are improving.  And I don’t see them really. 

 

I wonder if God us to go through these dry sorts of times so that he can do something deep inside us where we can’t see; can’t even detect his workings.  I like to think he is still around. 

 

Actually, I have experienced enough of his goodness that it doesn’t make sense to doubt him.  But it is very hard to just relax, just live and let him do whatever it is that he is doing.  I wish for times of solitude and quiet so I might hear him, but there hasn’t been much of that lately.

 

It is also a hard time to blog.  My daily routines of life just seem kind of blah.  And writing about it seems just like writing about it is a bit like saying blah, blah, blah, blah…

Proverbial Wisdom

The lack of wisdom of children amazes me sometimes. 

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,”  begins the author of Proverbs.  It seems the basis of all wisdom stems from this.

Oh how I wish that this foundation was solid in my children’s lives. 

It seems very difficult to help children understand this till a lot of stuff is messed up and they are in a desperate state, having done irreversible things that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives.  So with wisdom comes the ability to see the end results of the actions we take.  Mothers can see this.  But maybe we got here by making many of the same mistakes.

God protect my children.  Become real to them so they can begin the journey to wisdom.

Change of Scene

There is something special about getting away for a weekend.  

 

Visiting one of my sisters makes it doubly good. 

 

It only took us about 4 hours to get down to Moose Jaw and we decided to take the longer way through Saskatoon just in case the roads were bad, since the highway is divided from Saskatoon on.  And since the road was good, I had Sara drive down as far as Chamberlain, where we left the #2 for the rest of the trip to Moose Jaw.  I read a bit but mostly slept. 

 

In Chamberlain we stopped to pick up a sub.  The poor guy running the sub shop was all alone but, boy, did he do a good and efficient job.  It was worth a tip which he didn’t quite know what to do with till he realized that I said to keep the change, it would be a tip.  Saskatchewan people can be a bit stingy on tipping.  It is not expected at fast food places.  No one working there would dare to ask – not like in Quebec as we rudely found out a few years ago on a visit there.

 

So tomorrow – in to Regina to my continuing ed course.  I should meet up with a friend who used to live in PA and was one of my assistants.  I am almost certain she will be at the course. 

 

And then I will return to Moose jaw and dine in some pleasant place with my good friend, Lauralea.  She is here really relaxing at the Spa, one of the local attractions.

 

So I guess visiting with my sister and her family and spending time with a few friends make this weekend more than doubly good.

Thoughts on prayer and "The Little Way"

I have been reading Foster’s book Prayer, Finding the Hearts True Home.  I think it is a good resource, full of information on prayer that I need to know and want to understand.  Certainly prayer as I knew it when a child was simpler – just a list of what I needed from God and a few thank-yous thrown in because it was good and proper to be thankful to God. 

 

I have slowly been going through the chapter on Formation Prayer(p65). The section in this chapter entitled “The Little Way” introduced me to the thoughts of Theresa of Lisieux.  It is interesting to me that my husband’s home town in southern Saskatchewan was Lisieux – a very French Canadian Catholic town of course.  I never paid much attention to the reason for her sainthood. 

 

I find myself coming back to this section.  Something in it seemed to grab my attention, sort of like saying “Read this part carefully.  You need to hear this.”

 

I often have trouble seeing God’s activity in my routines, the trivial details of my day at work or at home.  Most of the time there is little to cause one to think of what I do as valuable work being done for God.  Those times when I do see God at work through me are such extremely rewarding events that I long for more of the same.  I guess there is nothing so wrong with that but it is hard to see that my contribution in emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the tub, or filling a little cavity in on an overindulged middle class teenager is significant is God’s eyes. 

 

Theresa advocated what she called “The Little Way”.  According to Foster:

“The Little Way, as she called it, is deceptively simple.  It is, in short, to seek out the menial job, to welcome unjust criticisms, to befriend those who annoy us, to help those who are ungrateful.  For her part, Therese was convinced that these ‘trifles’ pleased Jesus more than the great deeds of recognized holiness…opportunities to live in this way come to us constantly, while the great fidelities happen only now and again.  Almost daily we can give smiling service to nagging co-workers, listen attentively to silly bores, express little kindnesses without making a fuss.

 

We may think these tiny, trivial activities are hardly worth mentioning.  That of course is precisely their value.  They are unrecognized conquests over selfishness.  We will never receive a medal or even a ‘thank you’ for these invisible victories in ordinary life – which is exactly what we want.”(p65)

 

I sure am far from this ideal.  I like just a tiny bit of recognition anyway.  It makes me feel good. 

 

Foster goes on to quote one example where Therese “set” herself  “to treat her as if I loved her best of all” when faced with having to deal with another person who irritated her.  Dealing with the trivial, mundane and disagreeable events in my life – well I usually try to avoid dealing with them and would rather wish them away.  Not usually a good solution.  But choosing to deal with these circumstances by working at loving the people caught up in them or worse yet, causing them, is a level of perfection I have sure not reached.

Exploring Postmodernism

A few posts ago Peg asked if someone could explain to her what was meant by the “emerging” church.  I asked a lot of the same questions when I first discovered the wide world of blogging and kept running into a lot of theological talk I didn’t understand.  In spite of my limited understanding of the lingo, I kept asking and learned a lot of stuff from reading and discussing what was said on the blogs.  So keep researching and you will find what you need to know – and then some!

I guess over the last couple of years I have learned some stuff; the most valuable was the realization that there are some sound young Christian leaders out there working at being the “emerging” church in the communities where they live.  They take their faith seriously and have fun doing it. 

To my surprise, a few months ago the editor of the Covenant Messenger (our Canadian Covenant denominational publication) e-mailed me and asked me to do an article on Postmodernism.  I am not an expert so I didn’t write it from the perspective of a theological expert.  I am just me so I wrote it from the perspective of just me, a grandmother and quasi-scientist, who has decided to explore this new territory and is excited by what I have found.

So here is what I wrote.  You can keep reading here or on the Covenant Messenger site.

A few posts ago Peg asked if someone could explain to her what was meant by the “emerging” church.  I asked a lot of the same questions when I first discovered the wide world of blogging and kept running into a lot of theological talk I didn’t understand.  In spite of my limited understanding of the lingo, I kept asking and learned a lot of stuff from reading and discussing what was said on the blogs.  So keep researching and you will find what you need to know – and then some!

I guess over the last couple of years I have learned some stuff; the most valuable was the realization that there are some sound young Christian leaders out there working at being the “emerging” church in the communities where they live.  They take their faith seriously and have fun doing it. 

To my surprise, a few months ago the editor of the Covenant Messenger (our Canadian Covenant denominational publication) e-mailed me and asked me to do an article on Postmodernism.  I am not an expert so I didn’t write it from the perspective of a theological expert.  I am just me so I wrote it from the perspective of just me, a grandmother and quasi-scientist, who has decided to explore this new territory and is excited by what I have found.

So here is what I wrote.  You can keep reading here or on the Covenant Messenger site.

Exploring Postmodernism

  

When I was asked to write something on postmodernism, I was a bit shocked.  After all what do I, a grandmother, a person with a background in science not philosophy, really know about this stuff anyway.  As I tried to explain this, I received the answer, “You do not seem to be afraid of postmodernism.”  And that is right.  I am not afraid of it.  I see hope as the church begins to make the shift along the time line of culture into postmodernism; hope that there will be a strong community of faith standing around my grandchildren as they learn what it means to follow Jesus Christ in the world they will be part of.  I believe that Jesus Christ stays the same even as our cultures shift.

 

Imagine the church poised on a plateau at the edge of a canyon.  We have come through some beautiful country – beauty we appreciate, surroundings we have learned to love and understand.  Great people have taken the time to study the terrain and have developed systems to explain how and why things work.  If we do the right things, the results of our actions are predictable.  We think we have it pretty well cased and can’t imagine that God wants us to leave this good place. 

 

Now we have to consider the impact of this canyon opening up before us.  There are ways down into the deep gorge but they are not easy to find.  We are not even sure if we should go there.  We are inclined to stay in this good place but it seems as if everyone else in the world is heading towards this canyon. We will soon be left alone at the top. 

 

If we want to explore the canyon, see and experience its wonders, we have to go there.  Getting there is going to require a whole new approach.  We are going to have to find ways to make the transition from walking on smooth well planned streets to taking a hike in rugged uncharted terrain. 

 

I believe the church is in this kind of place right now.  Maybe we have been there for a while but were not brave enough to look over the edge of the canyon at the depths of the gorge.  We stayed safe and thus isolated ourselves from the changes affecting mainstream culture.  We followed a path that led us right up to this edge but instead of exploring the new territory, we declared it off limits.  It was different, unknown and could not be good.  We are standing – still in the modern era, looking at this postmodern canyon with modern eyes.  The organized church is still at the top looking down not sure how to get down there where all those unchurched people are.  One thing we can all be sure of is that they are not likely to climb back up to the top of the ridge where we are hanging out.

 

Initially I began to investigate this culture because of my children.  I wanted more than anything for them to know God.  If the church was irrelevant to them where would they find him?   I could see that there was a huge cultural gap between my generation and my children’s and I didn’t quite know how to handle that.  In my despair I began to explore what was out there.  I began to learn about an emerging church that was responding to this generation in settings that did not look much like the stereotypical church building with steeple and pews.   There were faithful vibrant churches attending to the needs of this generation.  I discovered a network of young passionate Christians; postmoderns bringing Christ to postmoderns.  

 

Postmodernism can be described in simple terms as the place we are on a journey along a cultural timeline.   Very simply, there were ancient times followed by medieval then modern and now postmodern.  The church journeys along this same timeline.  In some ways, the change to a postmodern culture can be understood as the beginning of the swing of a pendulum away from the rationalistic excesses of the modern age towards a more fluid culture.

 

The modern age had certain characteristics.  It was the age of reason, of science, the age of proof and rationality.  The church adapted to this. Christianity was systematized.  Proofs were developed supporting the intelligent choice of Christianity over atheism.  Christians were rational, reasonable people.  As systems of belief were developed by churches, so were statements of faith and sets of rules and principles for living. In some ways the church developed a bunker mentality; the world was out to prove us wrong, science was somehow diametrically opposed to faith, and if we were not careful, we would be assimilated by a wicked world. In many cases the faith we professed became boxed in by the modern culture and the church became rigid and legalistic.  We could believe all the right things with our heads but in many cases that was where faith ended – in the realm of rational thinking.  Putting into practice the radical teachings of Jesus and experiencing his power and love was occasionally less important than having the right set of beliefs. 

 

There are some common themes expressed in the writings of new young leaders in this postmodern church as postmodern thought meets evangelical faith.

 

Postmodern people are skeptical of claims to absolute truth yet they seek truth and honest answers.  They seek truth in the lives and experiences of those they see living out an authentic life.  The postmodern Christian needs to live a transparent honest life demonstrating Christ’s teachings to the person who seeks God.  Postmodern seekers of God may reject him if he is presented as a set of rules offered as a substitute for truth.

 

Postmodern people do not like the boundaries between people imposed by hierarchical systems.  In the church they want a more level playing ground. A postmodern church is less likely to use a sermon preached to a passive audience as a method of instruction. They want more interaction during teaching and recognize that much is learned in honest dialogue, in the exchange of ideas and in the recounting of our stories.  Postmodern people do not see leadership as equaling the exercise of power over others.  They want the voices of all gifted people, men and women of all races, to be heard as the voices of equals.  Leaders are sought who demonstrate transparent honest lives and a style of servanthood patterned after the life of Jesus.

 

The postmodern church plays down the divisions set up by denominational creedal statements.  A personal experience of the Spirit demonstrated by a life that conforms to the teachings of Christ will be accepted as a more valid expression of faith than adherence to a list of required beliefs set out by a governing body. “The fellowship of the believers” is an experience that is understood as valid and desirable. Thus young leaders may find they are less tied to one denomination, finding much in common with other groups. They recognize that it is the Spirit that joins the believers together – not a set of denominational rules or peripheral beliefs.  Postmodern believers are tolerant of differences. 

 

The postmodern church appreciates and currently adopts many ancient Christian practices.  Faith in a God who is beyond our knowing yet desires to have a relationship with us leads to acceptance of the mysterious. Drawing on ancient practices and liturgies, these believers attempt to create sacred spaces in order to experience God more fully.  Artistic expressions of faith are highly valued.  In fact art is seen as an expression of creativity endowed on a person as a manifestation of the spirit – we have been created by a God who excels in creation and, as such, many are gifted in creative expression as a reflection of the one who created us.

 

Conversion as a one time act that determines if a person is “saved” is another modern concept that fits better with completing proper requirements than into the postmodern one of developing a relationship with God.  Coming to faith is seen as taking place in more of the manner of a conversation – ongoing and deepening as the relationship grows – rather than a one time completed act.  Dramatic beginnings can occur but many people will quietly grow into faith; choosing at some point to be identified as a Christ follower as they are nurtured along by a community of faith.  The postmodern believer believes that the decision to follow Christ should be accompanied by a life which demonstrates the fruits of the spirit in acts of justice and love as well as in environmental care for the world and care for the less fortunate. 

 

I find that I have a great affinity for the changes being brought about by the postmodern church.  I think I have longed for many of these all my life.  The legalistic and exclusive stance of the modern church bothered me.  I knew that it was more than adherence to rules that made one a follower of Christ.  As I met other Christians recognizable by their faith, their love of God and the way they put Christ’s teachings into practice, my thinking began to change so that I could more easily accept a variety of expressions of behavior among fellow Christians.  I learned to adapt to the cultures I found myself within.

 

I am interested in the cultures of people who live in Africa, China, and Indonesia.  I can read about the people.  I can study their language.  But until I go and immerse myself in their culture, learning to love it like my own, I remain separate from it, a mere tourist

 

So it is in the postmodern world.  If the church wants to connect with the men and women of this culture we have to reach out and learn the language and customs.  That step would at least make us tourists.  They will know we have come to stay, to be a part of them, when they see us developing relationships with them because we love them.

 

We do stand at the brink of a great canyon.  The church has yet to decide if we will indeed go down and explore this new part of creation or just camp at the top.  Will we look over the brink of the canyon like tourists or will we care enough to get up and start navigating the path towards this new culture, sharing our lives with them? 

 

Do not be afraid to explore.  Jesus will be with you always even to the ends of the earth.